 I Am Powerful by Grey Paper Star, deviantart.com Harnessing the Placebo Effect What if what you believed about yourself came true… because you believed it? What if the most effective and long-lasting cure for anything was… your thoughts? Wow. You are powerful. Recent studies at Harvard’s Program of Placebo Studies and elsewhere are proving it. Here are the facts, as reported in last week’s Wall Street Journal:
Okay, that was empowering for about 2 minutes. Now, I want to know... How do I change my beliefs? Changing Your Beliefs Much of the time, we change our beliefs haphazardly. Someone says something that Boom! changes everything, or we travel to a new place or have a new experience that alters our thinking. But how do we intentionally CHOOSE a belief that we want to have… and come to believe it? Here’s a story from my own life... Everyone who knows me knows that I am happily (and recently!) married to the man of my dreams. But it wasn’t always this way. About 5 years ago I was “Aunt Stephanie”… the one who went to every occasion by herself, and had… for years. I was 35 years old and ready to change that. Here’s what I did that worked: Ask for Change. A quote from my own faith perspective says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." (The Bible: Matthew 7:7) I can’t tell you how this works, but whenever I open myself to “ask” in stillness and earnestness I am led to the change that I seek. Become Aware Of Your Belief. I knew there was something wrong with my attitude about relationships but I couldn’t put my finger on it. With some active listening time (journaling, walking, stillness, meditation, time in nature) I realized that I had become accustomed to my solo identity. It wasn’t that I believed I wasn’t capable of having a long-term relationship again, it just never felt like it was coming anytime soon. And so it had been for 6 long years. Choose a New Belief.This is the easy part. You don’t have to believe it yet, just articulate the new belief you seek. Reinforce Your New Belief. Change your physical environment, journal about your dream in the present tense, speak about it, day-dream about it, create a vision-board, an affirmation, a mantra, read about it, watch TV or music that reinforces it. It took me 5 months to meet Anthony once I decided to really work on it. For me, this meant taking down all the pictures of beautiful and natural but solitary women in my home and replacing them with pictures of couples and figurines in twosomes… each of which represented what I really wanted in a partnership. Looking back at my journals I can see how I FILLED them with stream-of-consciousness writing in the present tense about my dream man and our life together. I also noticed couples everywhere, noting the qualities I was looking for. Each time I saw the little pictures around my home or did one of these things, the idea of being part of a couple became more and more real to me. About 3 months later, I not only believed it would happen but was actively telling my friends that I knew it was coming soon. And it did. So, join the Harvard Placebo team and experiment harnassing the power of your mind. What do YOU believe? Add Comment  By `mehmeturgut, Deviantart.com Santa Says: "Don't Be Good!" From Unhealthy “Giving” to Authenticity and Love It’s interesting that I wrote my first blog about Authenticity last year at around this same time. What is it about the holidays that can be so bitter-sweet? Dealing with family issues and personalities that trigger you in the worst ways… Being around the people you love the most but who may not “see” you for who you truly are. And then there’s the “giving” season. Maybe you long to help in a meaningful way but are bogged down with a giant To Do list of supposedly "good" things that give you no joy. Only stress, franticness, disconnect. Stop Doing Good! Here's the challenge: STOP going through the motions of “good” and START getting to know yourself, accepting yourself and finding the unique ways that YOU are meant to give in the world. Start Doing Love In my own tradition, the Bible says “If I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing” (1st Corinthians 13). That's worth re-reading. I'll give you a second (.......................................). Mother Theresa echoes the same idea when she writes, “There are no great deeds. Only small deeds done with great love.” So, it’s not the deed but the love put into the deed? My meditation practice, from Eastern roots, has similar teachings. I’ve been taught that while meditating I should stay in the same posture unless my body or mind becomes too caught up in misery. When I can no longer return to a place of “equanimity” than it is better to change postures so I don’t harm myself “rolling around in misery.” In this tradition also, the mental-emotional state is more important than the action. So, if you want to do something “good” and your motivation is NOT love, then what would it be? From Unhealthy “Giving” to Authenticity and Love The holidays are rife with supposed “good” deeds you’re expected to do that every fiber in your body is screaming against (can I say "holiday cards"?). Let’s say, for example, your Mom wants you to drive all the way to Los Angeles to pick up your sister from the airport and drive her back to San Diego. In some other scenario, you would love to oblige. But in this case, you are livid you’re being asked and feel like you’re not allowed to say no without being the Bad Guy. So, here’s my challenge to you… Say no. Think through the reasons you DON’T want to do it. Do they include enabling someone’s unhealthy behavior (ie. your sister never takes responsibility for herself!)? Or maybe your Mom imposes her idea of “right and wrong” on you and doesn’t respect your own ways of giving? Chances are there’s something sick here disguised as “good”. Now think through the reasons you WOULD do that thing. Do they include being afraid of rocking the boat, needing approval from certain people or preserving an image of yourself as the “nice guy”? Maybe you’ve internalized a feeling of unworthiness (“If I were a nicer person I would do it”) or bought into the paradigm that prioritizes the action over your state of heart, the physical over the Spiritual. The Middle Path: Do LOVE, Not “Good” Step 1- Be honest with yourself. If you answered the questions above and found your motivations lacking, courageously and courteously say no to doing that “good” thing. If you didn’t find shady motivations but just don’t have the heart to go that extra mile then be kind and compassionate with yourself and say no. Accept and honor the human that you are in this moment. Forgive yourself. You are a work in progress! And know that doing that deed with resentment instead of love in your heart will harm you and those around you (perhaps especially the person it was supposed to benefit). Step 2- Get creative! Now here’s the fun part. Think about what “small deed done with great love” you WOULD like to do. Maybe it’s as simple as bringing the paper to your neighbor’s doorstep or picking up a piece of trash on the street. Maybe you want to leave an anonymous flower on your friend’s desk at work. These are YOUR good things. DO THEM NOW! Step 3- Repeat Step 2 over and over and over again. You will have so much fun and simultaneously be building a sense of yourself as good and worthy and learning to listen to your own inner voice. You are on your own unique path of love! The Path To Authenticity and Intimacy I think I come back to Authenticity every year because it has so much to do with intimacy. Not feeling known by those you love most can be painful. Unpassionately or resentfully going through the motions of others' expectations always leaves you looking bad-- in your own eyes as well as others'. And during the Holidays there are a slew of things we're "supposed to" do that are often just not our thing. This year, rather than getting strung-out or dulled by the proverbial To Do List, clear your calendar clean and redirect your energies toward your own loving deeds. Yes, you will deal with some anger from the Rules Committee but others will notice how calm and serene you look, how happy. You will glow. You will feel great about yourself. With repetition, people will begin to “see” you… for the unique expression of Love that you are. So go out there and do no “Good” deeds this holiday season… only your own small deeds of Great LOVE. Healing Your Vision Naturally: A True Story 11/05/2011
 Mis-see by Poop Art at Deviantart.com Healing Your Vision Naturally: A True Story The Optometrist was clear. “There’s no way to improve your vision without surgery,” he explained, going through a whole medical explanation of why this was so. And as he diagrammed and didacted his voice sounded more and more like Charlie Brown’s school teacher: “Wah wah, wah wah, wah wah.” My mind, on the other hand, was taking a ride into the past and present. To acupressure school when several teachers shared their personal experiences with clients whose eyesight was restored to 20-20. To Christian Science theology that sees all illness as spiritual malaise. To my own epiphany years earlier that there was nothing wrong with my eyes. To my well-tested belief in the power of the mind and Spirit to heal. And, furthermore, he was concluding, I must have been over-prescribed by my last optometrist because it was impossible that my eyesight had improved. Flash forward now to a several weeks ago, about a year and a half after that particular eye exam. Maybe because that doctor had been so emphatic, my mind had not returned to the subject since. But here I was, in a new Optometrist’s office facing another Medicine Man. He checked my eyes and was now checking my 3 year old glasses and most recent contact lense prescription. “Hmmm… I must have checked that wrong. Let me redo this.” My mind jolted out of its doctor’s office haze to electric clarity. My vision had improved again! This time, the older, more open Optometrist explained after double-checking his work, “By about 30% total.” I wanted to jump up and down but the venue didn’t seem to welcome such a display. Anyhow, another emotion had come over me… knowingness. And, wow. Gratitude. Yes, the world has order and reason. Feeling grounded and strengthened in my beliefs I thought, “Of course.” And now, after hearing similar stories from friends and family members I’d like to share with you what is possible for all of us, through the power of belief, awareness and action. How My Vision Improved By 30% BELIEF-- In 2002 I took an acupressure certification course where I was introduced to the idea that it was possible to improve your eyesight. Then, in 2006, during a time of great Spiritual awakening for me, I had a sudden epiphany that there was nothing wrong with my eyes. I was born with perfect eyes, I reasoned. I was prescribed contact lenses when I was 14 but if my eyesight could go “bad” why couldn’t it go “good”? Now I believed. INTENTION-- So, this may be far-out for some people. But I believe one of the reasons my vision has improved is that I decided I wanted to see. The way Chinese Medicine views sickness is from a symbolic, whole-body approach. So, in this way of viewing near-sightedness there are psychological and spiritual questions to be asked, like “What do you not want to see?” After learning this approach and believing my vision could improve, I began to look into the things I hadn’t wanted to see before. Almost like an affirmation I would repeat in my meditation and yoga and daily life that I wanted to see and feel everything this life had to offer me… without judging it bad or good. I wanted to see and experience all of it. AWARENESS & INTERNALLY-GUIDED ACTION-- I’m one of those girls the make-up ladies at the mall can’t stand. My eyes flutter. I mean, they really move. And, since I began meditating regularly in 2001 I’ve been training my mind to be aware, at all moments, of the myriad of sensations present on my body. So, at some point, I became aware that not only is there continual tension and activity behind my eyes but that I respond to these sensations by squeezing my eyes, particularly when I drink caffeinated beverages, when I’m tired or in the sun. So, for years now when I become aware of this I send a deep exhale down through my neck and shoulders and into my stomach and legs, removing the strain from my eyes. I learned this corrective action by paying attention to my body on a minute level and by experimenting with what worked to relax my eyes. I apply it consistently throughout the day as well as working on my posture and tension-taming more generally. The Big Questions So, yes, I will tell you my plan for curing my vision completely. But, frankly, I think the more interesting question is what all this means. What if our body-minds really are meant to be perfectly healthy? What if our maladies are messages (some downright loud ones!) pointing us in a healthier direction? If healing is less of a “miracle” and more an aligning with a Divine Order and our part in it? What if you could heal yourself partially or even completely by learning to listen really well for what is needed and be aware enough to continually apply the corrective behavior? Do you really want to heal? How does your current illness actually work for you… keeping you in a comfortable status quo? What are the negative thoughts or emotions that correspond to your malady? What affirmation would snap you into a more empowered place? What exercises, if any, do you need to do to strengthen your awareness (ie. your capacity to continually return to your corrective action and thoughts)? What would your life be like, your faith, your sense of empowerment if you were able to heal yourself? And if you really want to go there… what does all of this say about God, or the Universe if you will? My New Plan for 20-10 Vision Anyone want to join me on this journey? In my excitement I bought an e-book on healing your eyesight naturally and anyone is welcome to borrow it. But, again, I will only do what seems intuitively right for me. Here’s what’s on my daily list: • Herbal eye-wash • “Cup” my eyes and/or massage my face when it feels right • Wear my glasses or contacts as little as possible • Walk barefoot and open my eyes to the sun as much as possible (I’ve already been doing this, intuitively, for the past 2 years) • As opposed to doing eye-exercises, stretching my eyes in all directions in a way that feels cathartic • Greens and regular acupuncture • An affirmation on my closet door to keep me motivated and a continued “Yes!” attitude toward everything life brings me. I’ll keep you posted on this journey. What’s your plan for healing?  My Meditation by Sgavrish, DeviantArt.com Discovering the Unsung Hero as You Journey Inward by Lara Eisenberg, Guest Blogger In 2008 one of my closest friends, Michelle Larson died of cancer. She was 34. I am someone that has devoted their life to understanding trauma and various dis-eases of the body and mind, but I have never personally witnessed anything as debilitating and painful as my good friend’s long battle with cancer. Supporting her through this illness and eventually having to say an early goodbye to such a beautiful person shifted my perspective on life and taught me something invaluable - the art of “welcoming”. Michelle and I loved to dance. We went dancing often and developed many friends within the dance community. Dancing was a shared passion and powerful way for us to express our joy and also to release our sadness. A few days after Michelle’s funeral, I decided to honor something we both loved and go dancing. When I arrived, I saw several people that knew Michelle but were not yet aware of her death. Fear and dread coursed through me at the thought of being asked about Michelle and her health. I questioned whether I should have come and spent most of the evening trying to make myself invisible. But as the music lured me onto the dance floor, I consciously stepped out of the shadows and let myself become visible to all. Almost immediately, the person I most dreaded seeing tapped me on the shoulder. This person had been in love with Michelle and I knew he wanted to inquire about her. As soon as our eyes locked, all of the fear I had created in my mind disappeared and I experienced a fully embodied state. In place of fear and avoidance, a calming sadness pulsated through my veins. We embraced and there was no fumbling with awkward words or condolences - speech was both meaningless and unnecessary. It was a moment of pure sensation; no toxic repression, rejection or dismissal of anything. I felt liberated and fully alive. I had to welcome the sadness and fear before I could journey to a place of trust and surrender. In reality, this awakening probably took place in a matter of a minute or two, but I traveled miles and miles in that time. And once I did, I returned to the dance floor and danced for Michelle. My entire being danced with the infinite sadness, love, and ecstasy of what lies beyond when we accept, welcome and embrace all of life. A year later, I discovered a technique called iRest Yoga Nidra. This practice gave language to my experience, as well as a path to help guide me through the various challenges and experiences of life. Learning about this practice, prompted me to ask myself “Do you believe that ecstasy and peace are present amidst all of life’s circumstances? Do you believe you can be your own hero as you navigate through life?” I said “yes” to myself and began on the path... Yoga Nidra Yoga Nidra (“yogic sleep”) is a meditation practice derived from the ancient teachings of Yoga and Tantra. These practices are designed to lead us to an experience of who we truly are beyond psychological, cultural and social conditioning. Yoga Nidra teaches us to dis-identify from our habitual patterns, and opens us to our essential self that is ever calm, at peace and informed by the grace of each present moment in life. With heightened awareness, we learn to acknowledge and welcome emotions, thoughts, sensations etc. as opposed to resisting, withdrawing or projecting what arises in our life and consciousness. With correct understanding, we begin to fully embrace life and experience our true nature in the midst of all life’s circumstances. From this realization, we move into the world with dignity and grace. As the individual and universal meet, we discover there is no separation and the unsung hero that lies within each of us is revealed. Integrative Restoration Integrative Restoration (iRest), a modern adaptation of Yoga Nidra. It is a transformative process that leads to psychological, physical and spiritual healing. iRest teaches skills that assist you in utilizing your inner resources when encountering difficult life experiences. The practice is integrative in that it heals the various unresolved traumas and issues in the body and mind, and restorative in that one experiences a sense of ever present peace in the midst of life’s changing circumstances. Whether you desire to decrease anxiety, improve sleep, free yourself from addictive tendencies or improve an aspect of your health, iRest can support your healing process and give you a direct experience of your true nature as inherent joy and well being. iRest is composed of ten components: 1. Development of Intention: What do you want to achieve? 2. Heartfelt desire for one’s lifetime: What do you want more than anything else in life? 3. Inner resource of well-being: What place do you feel secure, calm and safe? How do you feel in your body when you imagine this place? 4. Physical sensation/Body sensing: What are the sensations in your body? 5. Breath and energy awareness: Breath sensing: What is your breath like (calm, rapid shallow)? 6. Experiencing feelings and emotions: What feelings (hot, cold, heavy, light) and emotions (calm/angry, relaxed/tense etc) are present in your body? 7. Experiencing thoughts, beliefs and imagery: What beliefs are present (i.e. “I am not good enough”)? Where does the opposite thought live in the body? Can you think of a time you experienced being good enough? 8. Experiencing joy and well-being: What person, place or thing evokes a sense of joy and/or well-being? 9. Experiencing witnessing and well-being (freedom from the sense of separation generated by the senses and mind): Witness Awareness-Who is that is aware of the body, breath, feelings, emotions and beliefs? 10. Integration into life-the ability to experience peace amidst the changing circumstances of life: In every moment, can you feel your innate sense of well-being regardless of life’s circumstances? About the Guest Author Lara Eisenberg began her studies in Eastern healing practices in 1999. In 2001 she graduated from Columbia University with dual Masters degrees in Psychological Counseling. Lara works as a Certified Integrative Yoga Therapist, teaching workshops and providing individual and group iRest sessions. She specializes in stress management, trauma, food addiction, anxiety and depression. For more information on how to discover your unsung hero please visit www.yogatherapysandiego.com.  My Sexy Grandma. You are Perfect, Exactly the Way You Are: 7 Transformative Lessons From My Sexy Grandma It was some kind of magical paradise. Glitter on the ceilings, hot pink carpet, full-length mirrors everywhere and a (tastefully) nude woman, back arched seductively, painted on the bathroom wall. It was Grandma’s house. And magic was in the air. Mixed with utter restfulness and a dash of food-induced lethargy. As we travelled from California each year to visit my grandparents in the small Mormon town of Ogden, Utah I marveled at how differently I felt here. Whether I was 4 years or 30, somehow I was always more beautiful. My skin was brighter, my curly locks manageable and the figure reflected in all those mirrors was just cuter. And maybe other people felt the same because Grandma’s house was different in other ways too. It was like we were all Princes and Princesses, loving one another, serving one another… and everyone who walked in the door was family. Oh, and beware when inspecting the little figurines littering the window ledges and tables. When you turn them over they might have genitalia on the bottom. So, these are the sacred and sometimes hysterical lessons from the most transformative figure of my life. My basketball-loving, barefoot in the winter, chocolate martini drinking, fish-catching Danish Grandma… complete with rock-star shades and a blonde beehive she called Mirn.  The headstand contest. Lesson #1: Be Sexy I think this was the lesson when I opened a gift from my grandma on my 16th birthday. The tiny red-hot lingerie that spilled out nearly traumatized my Step Mom for life and I quietly exchanged it for something a tad more tasteful. But I got the message. I was a woman now and I had the right to feel and be sexy. And Grandma modeled this. In a land where many God-fearing folks wear special, chaste, underwear, my Grandma ran around in slinky pink nighties with mirrors on her bedroom ceiling. Lesson #2: Don’t be Perfect. Don’t be Good. Be Your Self. Grandma wasn’t Good in any sense that I ever knew that word to mean. She snuck treats to the dog. She had a TV in every room. She managed to balance her Type 1 Diabetes with diet soda and a couple of chocolate martinis a day. And she had a mischievous side. When she said those cookies were homemade, you might find the box lying around later. But she was so much better than Good. She was heaven. Sneaking you presents, cranking up the heat in the winter-time and running around the house barefoot with hot pink short-shorts, challenging my 14 year old brother to a headstand contest (he won only because, 20 minutes later, a bobby pin from her beehive was lodged into her scalp). She had fake nails with jewels on them… but taught my brothers how to bait their hooks with live fish. She watched the Jazz play ball religiously and cried when we came to visit and again when we left. My Grandma taught me what all children know instinctively—Love is better than Good. Lesson #3: Be Love Everyone secretly thought that grandma loved them best. She was lazor-focused on one thing and one thing only… Love. I never heard her say a bad word about anyone. She never missed birthdays. When she was visiting she wanted to make my lunches, and left little love-notes inside my lunch-bag. Her carpet and couch were never more important than our feelings. She painted my nails when I was little and took me shopping when I was older. She was all Love all the time. Lesson #4: Take What You Get and Make it Love Grandma wasn’t given an easy life. She survived a lot of tragedies… a failed marriage by the time she was 18, the death of her first child, an abusive second husband who later committed suicide. She wasn’t actually my Grandma by blood. In fact, even one of her two daughters was actually her sister’s child biologically. Our family “blended” with hers but it was the closest part of our family by love, if not by blood. When we were in Utah, all of her best friends—including her hair dresser and cleaning lady-- were a member of our family and treated with the same measure of Extreme Love. Lesson #5: Be a Little Messy To the casual visitor, Grandma’s house was spotless. But what the family knew was that the drawers and cabinets were like a scene from Alice in Wonderland… curiouser and curiouser! The medicine could be found in with the chips, the paper towels, the nail polish kit and the cookbooks. And who knew what was in the far, far back? When I cleaned out the house after grandma’s passing, I found my grandpa's funeral papers, a Danish ebelskiver pan and a giant coloring book under her side of the bed. I can’t put my finger on it but there is something very sane… even joyful… about a little messiness. Lesson #6: Find the Love of Your Life (And Treat Him/Her Like a King) When my Grandpa started courting my Grandma, they already had their children and each had lost a spouse. But this was Love. My grandpa always teased “that blonde” and they were often seen playing footsie under the dinner table. Whatever request one had, the answer was always yes. They danced together into old age and I found more than one love note hidden around the house after they passed on. Lesson #6: Meditate My Grandma called it “hypnotizing herself.” She learned the technique to birth two children via C-section since the Diabetes prevented her from taking pain medication. When she was feeling overwhelmed or emotional she would seek out a quiet place, close her eyes and picture herself on a warm beach somewhere, peaceful, safe. When as an adult I asked her how she managed to be so consistently kind and love-centered, she credited this practice. Lesson #7: You are Perfect. Exactly the Way You Are My grandma never said this, exactly; it just permeated from every pore. But this is the single most transformative lesson she passed on to me. Be yourself. You are perfect and you are the only you. You were made to be you. So be that with wild abandon… and most importantly, Love.  By Tbfdm at Deviantart.com Why You Can’t Skip the “Feelings” (and How to Deal With Them!) My body is tense and uncomfortable, looking for distractions… Caffeine? Perfect! Sugar? Bring it on! Text messaging, videogames, Facebook? Even better. My mind is shifting, circling without landing anywhere… one thought to the next distracted thought. Conversations and people around me are like magnets, drawing my fickle attention. I feel like someone dropped a handful of pop rocks into my bloodstream. Alert! Be very very attentive now. No, you’re not hunting wabbits (sorry for the Yosemite Sam reference). You’re hunting feelings. Feelings? Can’t I just skip over the whole “feelings” thing? Yes, but now you’re entering very dangerous manifestation territory. Do you want to know how negative things manifest? Skip over your feelings and watch… as the depression and heaviness you’re feeling, when not acknowledged and overcome, becomes comfort-eating… which becomes physical, bodily heaviness. Or that sense of overwhelm, undealt with, leads to zone-out activities… which manifest into piles of clutter and a mounting list of to-dos and deadlines. Now that’s overwhelming! Or anxiety unresolved leads to a caffeine buzz which leads to running and running from one thing to the other, too many obligations, loose ends everywhere, shallow, unsupportive relationships… and now there’s really something to be anxious about! So, before you manifest your emotions into physical form, take your discomfort as a warning signal. Deal with the underlying issues and emotions as they arise (see exercise, below) and instead of reaching for the quick fix… distraction, procrastination, food, caffeine, busy-ness… reach for your most cautious behavior: eat well, exercise, take breaks, drink plenty of water, journal, BREATHE and move patiently, compassionately and humbly through the discomfort. The pain seems to increase temporarily when you first focus on it. But then it releases. And without the avoidance activities, you are spiraling UP before you know it instead of spiraling down into your own familiar, personal abyss. Experiment: “Just Deal With It” The next time you’re feeling “off”, physically or emotionally, give yourself 15-30 minutes of private time, depending on the severity of the feeling. Without trying to change anything or attach a story to it, directly experience the “offness" as an emotion or physical sensation on the body. When your mind wanders to the "story" of it, continually call it back to the physical sensation. Ask yourself where you feel this on your body, go to the center of the physical sensation and observe it, curiously… the texture, temperature, color and any related images. If there are emotions present, allow yourself to feel them deeply and directly, letting the waves pass over you again and again until they subside naturally. Take a few moments now to experience the calmness you've just created. At this point—and only after you have fully experienced and observed the emotion or physical sensation—engage your mind: What circumstance is this emotion or sensation related to? What is needed of you to deal with this situation? Resolve and plan how you will handle this issue and follow through.  Dirty Girl by CrazyKcee, Deviantart.com Spring is Here! 3 Steps to UnClutter Your Internal Basement Internal clutter feels a lot like external clutter… It’s there and you know it. You don’t want to deal with it. The more you don’t deal with it the bigger it seems. And now there’s a secondary list of the things you need to do but can’t until the original clutter is dealt with. You’re overwhelmed. You feel like you’re running all the time but not making any progress. You may feel lethargic, depressed and may even get sick. You’re confused about how you got here and lack a vision for your future. It’s time for some serious Spring Cleaning! I’ll never forget having a male roommate (sorry guys!) while living in Costa Rica in my early twenties. I couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t helping with the house-cleaning. Finally, I talked to him about it. “I didn’t do anything to get the bathroom dirty,” he said. “Why should I have to clean it?” His reasoning took me completely off-guard. And then I got it. He honestly didn’t know that things JUST GET DIRTY. No one actively puts the dust there, the hair, the cobwebs, the little particles of dirt. They just accumulate. And they need to be cleaned regularly or the whole place goes to heck. Well, our body-minds are a lot like a house. We don’t need to be repressing any unusually dark emotions to get cluttered-up. But we do need constant cleaning to keep our body-minds in tip-top shape. So, what are the 3 Steps to a Spring-ier, cleared out, spanking new YOU? Read on… Step 1: Un-Clutter This part takes some introspection. Go to a place that comforts and inspires you, where you won’t be distracted. Now sit and feel (yes, I said “sit and feel”). What emotions are present for you? Allow yourself to completely feel these emotions, no holds barred for at least 5 minutes without trying to figure anything out. Just feel. Once you have done this thoroughly, activate your mind. What are these emotions related to? What is needed from you at this time? Spend some time calmly brainstorming until you have found just the right actions needed on your part. Write these down and follow through. It’s worth it to say a quick word about two very different things, forgiveness and physical space, which both play a powerful role in the clutter phenomena. On a spiritual and emotional level, there are few things that have the power to clear us out as forgiveness. What do you need forgiveness for? Who do you need to forgive? What is needed of you to do this? On a seemingly more mundane level, I’ve found that Step 1 for most people in uncluttering their lives is often literally cleaning out a particular physical space that’s been cluttered. Is there a physical manifestation of your internal clutter that needs to be cleaned out? Do this first. Step 2: Reprioritize I’ll never forget reading a book by the Dalai Lama called “The Art of Happiness.” In it, the Dalai Lama suggests the simplest of recipes for human happiness. He says something like, “Make a list of the things that make you feel good. Now make a list of the things that make you feel bad. Now spend time doing the things on the first list and stay away from the things on the second list.” Doh! Oversimplified? Mmm… not really. Difficult as all-heck? Perhaps. So, take some time to make an inventory of the things that uplift you and the things that drag you down. Make a plan for incorporating the things from the first list into your daily and weekly life and letting go or diminishing the impact of the things on the second list. Write these down and follow through. Step 3: Set Healthy Habits People often tell me how much they love my home. They use words like “beautiful”, “good energy” and “comfy”. So here’s my secret: 50% of beautiful is clean. At least. And clean doesn’t happen by cleaning once a month. It happens by cleaning a little bit every day. Our body-minds are the same. So, what daily, weekly and monthly habits are needed to keep your body healthy and fit? To keep your mind calm and serene? To keep your physical space orderly and beautiful? To keep your relationships healthy and bright? What do you need to do on a regular basis to feed your heart and digest and express your emotions? Once you compile this list it may seem like a lot. So experiment for a week and see how you feel. I often get reports from busy people that they may DO more without this self care but they PROGRESS less in the things that are important to them. One thing is for sure: there is no clarity and vision while clutter is present. So once you have taken the necessary steps to un-clutter, re-prioritize and practice healthy habits that preclude the build-up of new clutter, you are well on your way to experiencing the clarity necessary to envision… and therefore create… a future of your choosing. To Springtime and all the new possibilities it brings! Choosing Slow 02/24/2011
 Slow by Norefjell, Deviantart.com Slow is the New Fast An Ode to Slow from An Ex Multi-tasker Oh, it used to feel so good, so empowering. An adrenaline rush, really. I could be writing a 5 year plan, on a conference call and communicating in hand-signals to my co-workers, all at once. Forget walking and chewing gum! I ran down the hallways to the fax machine, swung into my boss’ office, a sandwich in hand. And the rewards were sweet. Painting broad, colorful brush strokes upon the world’s open canvass. Recognition. The silent confidence of my value in the world’s eye. And then the years wore on. Now my “on” switch had a hard time switching “off” when I wanted it to. I was running at work, running in my off-time, running in my brain, running in my sleep. And the impact I was having looked different 5-10 years later. Sure, I pulled off large-scale events but the relationships were shallow, the vision short-sighted, the victories unsustained over time. What was I really creating in the world? And now the world’s accolades seemed like a back-handed consolation, a small return for the price of my Soul, my peace, my wisdom. And so I dedicate this poem to Slow. In deep humility to the Wise Ones I screeched past, waving from my mental convertible, during those busy-busy years: An Ode to Slow I choose Slow Because Slow is delicious, Tai Chi, flowing, sensuous Like a belly dancer And because you must walk slowly To be barefoot Toes curling around each pebble, relaxed, pulling strength up From Mother Earth. And when I move like this my heart and eyes open like flowers, simple, sincere, True And I look around. I think. About the things left undone. About thoughtful things that I could do. I am aware of every flower, every buzzing bee. I enjoy them. I join them. I am connected to them. I choose Slow Because going through the motions thoughtlessly, superficially a dozen times Does not match One Slow, thorough, forward movement with Purpose and clarity Imagine if the whole world moved like this. What kind of world would this be? All beings listening to the changing world around us and acting in perfect harmony with its cycles and timing. Substance over form. Spirit over physical. Manifesting wisdom, patience, gratitude, forgiveness and compassion All tell-tale signs of Slow. Slow, like a quiet rebellion in this busy-busy world Requiring great courage to walk out of sync with so much of the world And, oh, how it grows your Faith In the perfect Design of this world And mercy and grace of its Creator Faith that moving in Joy and contentment in each moment will lead to the Best outcome, always. Joy leading to Joy. Peace to Peace. Stillness to Stillness. Love to Love Refusing to move in fear and hurry Refusing to move from bitterness and blame Refusing to move from anger, desperation, loneliness, ignorance Recovering, waiting, resting Until I can move slowly in Joy once again. Experiments ▪ For an entire day, focus on only one thing at a time; think only one thought at a time. At the end of the day journal about this experience. ▪ Take a walk today where you move at half the pace you normally do. What differences do you notice in yourself and your experience of your surroundings? ▪ Take a meditation, Tai Chi or breath-centered yoga class, noticing the impact of this experience on your mind, heart and body. Journal about the experience  Dancing Shadow, Sveta Gavrish Me & My Shadow Integrating Your Shadow Finding Peace "What I know from this daily journey is that fear increases pain. What I don’t know but I suspect is that pain IS fear." Shrieking and cowering on its hind legs, the Gollum-like cat bares and gnashes its fangs, hissing. Although free to roam in a beautiful garden, it is frozen in its tracks writhing in hunger and desperation, seemingly cornered and tormented by an imaginary abuser. It has the eyes of the violently abused, never at rest, trapped, humiliated, overcome with hatred and fear, gasping for breath, unable to see the docile world around her. Yes, I think to myself. I recognize this animal. My Shadow; my Dark Side. My companion all these years. I open my eyes from the exercise. I am reading “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers” by Debbie Ford. “Your life will be transformed when you make peace with your shadow” the book reads. “You will no longer have to pretend to be someone you’re not. You will no longer have to prove you’re good enough. When you embrace your shadow you will no longer have to live in fear.” Fear of what? Fear of being discovered for who you really are. And the shadow, as defined by Carl Jung, is the parts of our personality that we have rejected out of fear, ignorance, shame or lack of love. So, this is the story of one woman’s journey to her authentic Self. An inner journey, as most are, through Fear. Any Type A's in The House? Maybe you can relate. I was always in a hurry. Overbooked, overwhelmed, anxious, restless. And sleep was hardly a respite since the chasing continued there, always pursued in my dreams by some malevolent force. When a difficult (or overwhelmingly wonderful!) situation arose, my heart felt like it was pounding out of my chest and all I wanted to do was run. More often than not, I could not say what I wanted to say or act how I wanted to act because I was too busy dealing with the overwhelm. And so I set out 10 years ago on a path to intentionally meet my fear daily in meditation and yoga. Recognizing Your Shadow It was easy for me to recognize my Shadow on my meditation cushion. In the silence of this practice the workings of my mind are amplified and seen for what they are, a part of me, and not the result of some external circumstance. Initially, when pain arose, I could barely take it. My heart raced as I feared the pain would increase. Soon, a pain in my hips would spread to my entire body in pulsing, throbbing waves, causing my mind’s fear to increase even more. This fear caused my body to tense up more, creating more pain, in a downward descending cycle. I would end my meditation with my body quite literally twisted and contorted with tension. In compassion for myself I would take rests to clear the pain and fear from my body-mind and then start anew. If this sounds horrible, it wasn’t. Somehow a lightness and hope emerged from each new sitting. It felt cathartic, empowering. What I know from this daily journey is that fear increases pain. What I don’t know but I suspect is that pain IS fear. Moving Through Fear to Peace Years later I was able to stay with the pain and fear for longer periods of time, first observing it with sorrowful resignation and later with curiosity. My physical pain would no longer spread to my whole body but stay limited to one location, even dissipate altogether. Now I can often muster up a “Bring it on!” attitude when faced with pain and I am simultaneously aware of light, pleasant sensations on other parts of my body and a general sense of wellness and connectedness, an awareness that everything will be okay. My heart feels more open, my body relaxed, my breath free-flowing. In my external life, my heart no longer pounds in my chest during difficult situations and I am usually able to continue breathing and act with choice and honesty—instead of from a place of fear. I move and speak more slowly. I no longer dream of being chased. My ability to slow down has allowed me to connect with people at a deeper level, increasing the intimacy of my relationships. By overcoming fear I have been able to truly embrace my Shadow self. Yes, I love to have fun and not work all day. That may be counter-culture but it’s who I am. Yes, I’m sensitive, and that is a great strength. Yes, I’m nice but not too nice. I get angry. I have boundaries. And my Shadow has changed too. The once vicious and desperate creature is now a noble tigress that walks, uneasily provoked, in a powerful state of peace. We are becoming one another. I have integrated her anger and power into myself. I am overcoming her fear. She has taken on my peace and self control. Exercise Take a moment to visualize your Shadow. What does it look like, sound like? How does it move? Where in your life do you most often encounter your Shadow? What would it mean for you to face it, observe it, even welcome and befriend it? And what is the reward for facing your fear and embracing your Shadow? In Debbie Ford’s words, “We live under the impression that in order for something to be divine it has to be perfect. We are mistaken. In fact, the exact opposite is true. To be divine is to be whole and to be whole is to be everything: the positive and the negative, the good and the bad, the holy man and the devil.” When we take the time to travel through our fear to integrate all parts of ourself, we will understand the Persian poet Rumi’s words, “By God, when you see your beauty, you’ll be the idol of yourself.” One Simple Practice to Live Authentically 01/18/2011
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